1 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,634 2 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:54,346 New York City is a great place to be engaged... 3 00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,268 Miss? 4 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,729 Oh, I'm sorry, did you want this cab? 5 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,940 -Why, thank you. -Sure. 6 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:12,614 and it's an even better place to be enraged. 7 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,325 Oh, you're so busy! 8 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,494 You're so busy! 9 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:24,835 10 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,461 Ah. 11 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,844 -Boy, do I have news. -So do I. 12 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,680 I didn't want to say anything until we were all together, but... 13 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:40,309 Harry and I made up, and he asked me to marry him. 14 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,228 - Oh, wow! -Oh, my God, congratulations! 15 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,396 Sweetie, that's great. 16 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,897 Look at that ring! 17 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,066 I know, he had it made based on the one 18 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,152 that Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor. 19 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,738 Well, it is fabulous. 20 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,365 Even more fabulous than your first one. 21 00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,329 So, Carrie, what was your news? 22 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,998 Oh, Berger broke up with me on a Post-it. 23 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,752 -On a Post-it? -Uh-huh, uh-huh! Yep. 24 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,171 Read it and weep, my friends. 25 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,674 "I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me." 26 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,385 The motherfucker's concise. 27 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,262 First of all, I thought you were gonna break up with him. 28 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,221 Yeah, I was. 29 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,390 And I should have, but he said that he wanted 30 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,351 to try to "work things out," 31 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:26,271 AKA, leave in the middle of the night. 32 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,190 A Post-it, that's infuriating. 33 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,610 I remember when breaking up over the phone was considered bad form. 34 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:34,738 I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 35 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,033 "I'm sorry, Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down... 36 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,701 ever." 37 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,703 I miss having a doorman. 38 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,955 So, are you gonna call him? 39 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,584 No. I'm not going to dignify his behavior with a response. 40 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,878 I am not even going to leave him one of those 41 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,089 angry answering machine messages, 42 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,799 "Hi, it's me, you're a dick!" 43 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,133 Hmm. 44 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,427 But it sure felt good saying it right now, even to you. 45 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,554 Well, that's what we're here for. 46 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,555 I'm sorry. 47 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,265 Yeah, I'm sorry, too. 48 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,435 That relationship was a complete waste of time. 49 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,938 Oh, it's never a complete waste of time. 50 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,565 I mean, even in the worst relationship, you always learn something. 51 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,734 You might not want to say that to a woman 52 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,444 carrying a loaded Post-it. 53 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,238 But, Carrie, everything happens for a reason. 54 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,906 Even if you don't know what it is yet. 55 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,616 That's such bullshit. 56 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,785 It's not! Look at me. 57 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:26,289 If I had never married Trey, then I never would have gotten divorced, 58 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,501 and I never would have met my divorce lawyer, Harry, 59 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,795 and I wouldn't be engaged now. 60 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,754 Uh-huh. 61 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,174 Paper covers rock. 62 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,512 Maybe everything does happen for a reason. 63 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,265 If Berger hadn't left me in the most horrible way 64 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,641 anyone could ever imagine, 65 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,185 I wouldn't have the afternoon free to walk you to your hair appointment. 66 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,521 Mm-hmm. We're all being protected by the universe. 67 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,523 When it comes to men, 68 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,066 I think you may have had it right all along. 69 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,277 Keep it light, don't get too involved. 70 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,403 Don't get too hurt. 71 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,613 Exactly. If you're never someone's girlfriend, 72 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,449 you could never be someone's ex-girlfriend. 73 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,409 You know what? 74 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,328 I'm gonna spend as much time mourning this relationship 75 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,830 as he spent ending it. 76 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,625 Okay, I'm over it. 77 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:14,212 Hey. Let's go somewhere fantastic tonight and have a fantastic time. 78 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,797 What could we do that would be fantastic? 79 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:19,176 I know. I'm taking you to Bed. 80 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,219 I'm not that off men. 81 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,472 No, Bed, it's a new club opening tonight. 82 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,389 We'll all go. 83 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,349 I think I have the invitation. 84 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,186 Listen to me being all hurt. 85 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,813 Look how many men have broken up with you, and you're fine. 86 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:33,899 Ooh! 87 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,527 Come to Be... Come to Bed. Wow. 88 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,198 People say everything happens for a reason. 89 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,617 These people are usually women. 90 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,037 And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. 91 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,748 It seems that men can get out of a relationship 92 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,374 without even a goodbye, 93 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,586 but apparently women have to either get married 94 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,545 or learn something. 95 00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:01,009 Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confucius? 96 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:05,555 Do we search for "lessons" to lessen the pain? 97 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:10,185 Meanwhile, Samantha was at home dressing a man for a change. 98 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,897 I called some designers and I told them that the Absolut Hunk 99 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:18,276 was going to do TRL on MTV and they jumped ASAP. 100 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,072 Gucci, YSL, DandG. Take your pick. 101 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:25,784 You know, I'm not really comfortable wearing labels. 102 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,536 If it's okay with you, 103 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,120 I thought I'd just wear some jeans and this. 104 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,748 Mm. That'll work too. 105 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,669 You are going to be the fantasy of every adolescent girl 106 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,213 and sexually confused boy in America. 107 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,966 -Mmm... 108 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,552 How'd I get hooked up with such an amazing girlfriend? 109 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:47,055 And that was a label Samantha wasn't comfortable wearing. 110 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,684 Okay, you should get ready. The car will be here any minute. 111 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,561 You sure you can't come? 112 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,688 Oh, I can't, I promised Carrie and the girls. 113 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,399 But I will catch the replay tonight. 114 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,360 Should I hook up with you later? 115 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,988 No, go out with the MTV crowd and have fun. 116 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,574 You're the Absolut Hunk, work it! 117 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:10,287 And as your publicist, let me just say, 118 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,833 calling someone your girlfriend isn't a good idea right now. 119 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,627 -Someone or you? - Either way. 120 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,464 So when anyone asks if you have a girlfriend, 121 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:27,095 you should say you're still looking and haven't found anyone special yet. 122 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,263 That's what you want? 123 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,557 That's what I want. 124 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:32,893 Samantha. 125 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:38,189 But I do insist you top off that tank with some Dior sunglasses. 126 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,566 It's MTV, 127 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,735 if you're not wearing something the kids can't afford, 128 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,486 how will they know to look up to you? 129 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,491 There. Much better. 130 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,662 That night, as Charlotte was deciding what to wear, 131 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,707 she noticed that everything went with her new engagement ring, 132 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,084 except her old wedding dress. 133 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,674 Meanwhile, in another closet... 134 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,636 I don't think I can go. I'm not feeling so hot. 135 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,305 -Are you sick? - No, I mean literally. 136 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,725 Openings of hot new clubs are for hot childless people. 137 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,728 I'm not even one of the hot mommies at mommy and me. 138 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,897 Miranda, I don't want to have to resort to this, 139 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:22,025 but if I have to, I will play the Post-it card. 140 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,987 Just explain to me why I have to leave my house to go to Bed. 141 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,491 Because this can't be "the day that I was broken up with by a Post-it." 142 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,036 This has to be the day that something else happened. 143 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,996 How about "the day your friend discovered 144 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,998 all her clothes are covered in spit-up?" 145 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,709 You are going, no excuses. 146 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,003 Okay, okay. 147 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:48,551 And speaking of no excuses, there they were, her skinny jeans. 148 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,262 The jeans every woman keeps in the vain hope 149 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,431 that someday she'll fit into them again. 150 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,573 151 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,036 Oh, my God, Tony! What are you doing here? 152 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,913 No, you did not come to this club. 153 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,749 Ladies, this is a miracle. 154 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,419 I am in my skinny jeans. 155 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:28,216 I haven't fit into these since 1985, and that is only because I had mono. 156 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,467 157 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:33,722 Miranda, I've never noticed before, but you've got one hot ass. 158 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,391 -Really? - Yeah, and you look good. 159 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,475 How did you do it? 160 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,644 Well, I got pregnant, became a single mother, 161 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,229 and stopped having any time to eat. 162 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,273 Oh, that's a diet I won't be trying. 163 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:47,485 I can't believe I am in my skinny jeans! I am never taking them off. 164 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,320 Charlotte, can I wear these to your wedding? 165 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,949 -I'm kidding. -Oh, no, it's just... 166 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,827 I just feel kind of silly that I made such a big fuss 167 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,078 about my ring earlier. 168 00:08:57,162 --> 00:09:00,415 Oh, honey, a diamond that big deserves a parade. 169 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,292 But this is the second time around. 170 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,002 I already did the showing of the ring, 171 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,129 I already did the big wedding, you were there. 172 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,338 -It was lovely. -Lovely. 173 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,717 So this time I've decided that it should just be 174 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,719 really small and tasteful. 175 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,512 -So, no denim? -Right. 176 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,098 And I don't want to disappoint you, 177 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,392 I've decided not to have bridesmaids. 178 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,645 -Whoo-hoo! 179 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,439 Hallelujah! 180 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,940 Okay, let's go to Bed. 181 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,984 182 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,406 Since people often go to bars to try to get someone into bed, 183 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,867 it was only a matter of time 'til someone 184 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,328 cut out the middle man and put the beds in bars. 185 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,164 Now this is my kind of place. 186 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,957 And I thought they were being ironic. 187 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,003 If I had know it was gonna be like this, I would have brought my bite guard. 188 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,800 Um, bed for four please. 189 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,635 All the beds are booked right now. 190 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,178 Oh, damn, that always happens to me. 191 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,972 We're on the VIP list, Samantha Jones. 192 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,308 Perfect. I'll be right back. 193 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,602 I have to find a bathroom. 194 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,021 -I need to pee. -Oh, really? 195 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,483 Or do you just want to stare at your ass in the mirror? 196 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,318 Well, that too. 197 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,694 Shake it, sister! 198 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,904 199 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,906 -Whoo! 200 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,033 We're ready. Follow me. 201 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,827 Oh, that was fast. 202 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,912 What could I say, I know how to work it in Bed. 203 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,003 Oh... 204 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,381 And I didn't even have to buy you dinner. 205 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,341 I'm sorry, someone pushed me. 206 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,759 You want me to have them killed? 207 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,761 -Would you? -Just say when. 208 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,430 -When. -Okay, I'm bluffing. 209 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,015 Yeah, I knew you were all talk. 210 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,226 Yeah. I'm Peter. 211 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,519 Oh... Miranda. 212 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,730 Well, thank you for letting me crash. 213 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,524 Why don't you hang out? 214 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,944 It's not that often I have such a beautiful woman in bed with me. 215 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:57,031 Oh, okay. 216 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,867 But move over, that's my side. 217 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:07,041 All the men in here seem kind of old. 218 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,210 That's because you're dating Smith. 219 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,795 Who's basically a zygote. 220 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,881 I am not dating him. I'm fucking him. 221 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,758 And now, I'm looking for someone else to fuck. 222 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,011 Well, I think you may have come to the right place. 223 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,055 This place is awesome! 224 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,767 Oh, no. That's Berger's friend. 225 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,060 -Oh! -Where? 226 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,478 In the next bed. 227 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,813 Oh, God, I hate New York. 228 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,940 Is there no other club opening tonight? 229 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,484 What should I do? 230 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,028 Ignore them. 231 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,404 No, I can't. 232 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,573 It'll get back to Berger that I acted childish. 233 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,158 Just go over there and say hi. 234 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,994 Act like Berger's the last thing on your mind. 235 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,455 Right. I'll take the high road. 236 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,750 I'll be calm and classy and just say hello. 237 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:52,921 Billy, hi! 238 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,130 Hey, Carrie. 239 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,971 -Hi, how are you? -Fuckin' great. 240 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,183 Chris, Andrew, this is Berger's girlfriend, Carrie. 241 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,434 Is Berger with you? 242 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:07,644 Um... 243 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,232 This is kind of uncomfortable 244 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,986 but, uh, we broke up this morning. 245 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,489 Oh. Man, I'm sorry to hear that. 246 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,448 Yeah. 247 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,409 Yeah, I knew you guys had all kinds of problems. 248 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,121 Yeah... 249 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,792 and he was bad in bed. 250 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,504 Well, you look great, Billy. 251 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,634 252 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:44,097 You know that angry message I didn't want to leave on Berger's machine? 253 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,473 I just left it on his friend. 254 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,766 What happened? 255 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,102 I took the lowest possible road. 256 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,689 I told him Berger was bad in bed, which isn't even true. 257 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,817 Two times! Don't you forget anything? 258 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,026 Why did you say that? 259 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,696 I don't... It just came out. 260 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,155 Well, it's understandable. 261 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,908 You're suffering from Post-it traumatic stress syndrome. 262 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,327 I need to find a way to erase that message. 263 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,037 Go back over there and explain. 264 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,457 Just tell them you're hurt and that you didn't mean it. 265 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,918 Oh, great, now I have to admit that I'm hurt? 266 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,171 First, a little nerve Clicquot. 267 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:27,724 268 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,435 Hey. 269 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,688 Uh, that thing I said before? 270 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,024 Terrible and not true. 271 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,608 He was fine in bed. 272 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,777 Great, in fact. 273 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,323 Fireworks. Rockets. 274 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,700 I don't even know why I said that. 275 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,119 I'm... 276 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,122 hurt, okay? 277 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,165 Sure. 278 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,374 Break-ups are tough. 279 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:56,711 Yes. Under normal circumstances they are tough. 280 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,921 And in this case... tougher. 281 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,884 Look, I don't want to drag you into this, but, uh... 282 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,971 Berger broke up with me on a Post-it. 283 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:15,688 Yeah, I know as Berger's friend, you can't have a normal reaction. 284 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,817 But just so you know, the normal reaction has been... 285 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,569 286 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,738 Not that I'm going around telling everyone. 287 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,323 Just some girlfriends. 288 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:30,495 I'm trying to understand why someone would do that. 289 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,997 Well, maybe he was afraid. 290 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,165 Interesting, how so? 291 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,292 Women can get really angry. 292 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:40,296 Well, I assure you, I would have been very understanding. 293 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,923 Right. 294 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,174 Excuse me? 295 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,133 296 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:48,513 You all say that, but then you just freak and get all psycho-bitch. 297 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,889 Really? 298 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,767 So now it's our fault? 299 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,977 All we're saying is there really is no good way 300 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,938 to break up with someone, is there? 301 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,315 Well, it's funny you should mention that, Billy, 302 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,776 because actually there is. 303 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:07,115 You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman to her face 304 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,950 that you no longer want to see her. 305 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,829 Call me crazy, but I think that you can make a point 306 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,915 of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include 307 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:19,085 an e-mail, a doorman or a missing person's report. 308 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:23,297 I think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy 309 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:28,219 and actually have the uncomfortable "break-up" conversation, 310 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,512 because here's what, 311 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,640 avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy. 312 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,226 -And just so you know, Allan... -Andrew. 313 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,604 Uh-huh. Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. 314 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,941 We just want an ending to a relationship that... 315 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,611 that is thoughtful and decent 316 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,030 and honors what we had together. 317 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,450 So my point, Billy, is this, 318 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,161 there is a good way to break up with someone. 319 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:56,581 And it doesn't include a Post-it! 320 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,168 Um, okay. 321 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,011 Much better. 322 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,180 You think? We have to get out of here immediately. 323 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,102 So, what... 324 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,854 You have a boyfriend? 325 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,355 Me? No. 326 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,107 Right. 327 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,192 I don't. 328 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,028 Come on. How is that possible? 329 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,909 I have no idea. 330 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,827 Well, neither do I. 331 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,454 You're hot. 332 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,290 Hi. Sorry, we're leaving. 333 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,042 I just learned you should never go to bed angry. 334 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,670 Oh! Well... 335 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,715 Oh. 336 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,218 Well, it was really great meeting you. 337 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,011 It was good to meet you. 338 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:52,970 I'll see ya. 339 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:55,765 And thanks. 340 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:56,849 For what? 341 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,899 Okay, so I'm angry. 342 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,776 So those guys will tell Berger that I'm angry. 343 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,985 I can live with that. 344 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,445 Come on, bro, give me a hit. 345 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,739 - Pass that back. -Ooh... 346 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,783 - You think that'll last? - You got it, man... 347 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,035 Do you smell that? 348 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,495 -Pot. -Oh. 349 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,122 Let's get high! 350 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:21,958 I'd get high. 351 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,793 Wait, are you serious? 352 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:28,089 Yes! That's exactly what my mind needs, cloudiness. 353 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,050 I'm still too lucid on the facts of the day and night. 354 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,927 Hey, when was the last time you smoked pot? 355 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,804 I think I was wearing these jeans. 356 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,765 -I'm not smoking pot. -Post-it. 357 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,976 How would we even get any? 358 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,104 I'd call my dealer, but he's at the Cape. 359 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,940 Oh, damn those dealers and their summer houses. 360 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,567 I'll ask those guys. 361 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,029 Excuse me, fellas? 362 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,781 - I got it... -Excuse me? 363 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,700 Hey... 364 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,285 Um... 365 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,872 My friends and I were wondering if you knew... 366 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,874 I like her in those jeans. 367 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,294 Is it safe to buy pot from strangers? 368 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,462 They're not strangers, they're our new friends with pot. 369 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,215 -Okay, thank you. 370 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,052 Okay. 371 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:18,389 They're going around the corner to Drown the Hound, 372 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,974 there's a guy there who deals. 373 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:22,476 And I get the one with the glasses. 374 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,646 My, when she scores, she scores. 375 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,481 -All right. 376 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,650 - There you go. - Thanks a lot, Tommy. 377 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,778 378 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,489 Mmm. Drown the Hound. 379 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,617 And I thought they were being ironic. 380 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:43,414 - I see our guys. -Yeah, go get our... 381 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,461 If that last place was called Bed, 382 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,254 then this should be called "Smell." 383 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,505 Well, hold your nose. 384 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,883 I promised Smith I'd watch him on TRL 385 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,218 and this dump has a TV. 386 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,598 What's this all over the floor? 387 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,224 Peanut shells. 388 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,977 -Why? -I don't know. 389 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,105 Do peanut shells have to happen for a reason? 390 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,066 What can I get ya? 391 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,192 Here's a 20. 392 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,652 I assume in a place like this 393 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,446 that covers three drinks and a channel change. 394 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,407 Does the bride need another Jell-O shot? 395 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,867 No, I can't... 396 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,244 - Yes! 397 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,456 -Drinks! -One more. 398 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,582 Look at them. 399 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,876 -So happy. 400 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:29,919 401 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,629 Here comes the bride 402 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,922 Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? 403 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,885 I just... I wish I'd never been married before. 404 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,721 But, if you hadn't married Trey, you wouldn't have met Harry-- 405 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,767 I know, it's just, I hate that this is my second ring 406 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,936 and that this is my second marriage. 407 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,939 And I hate that I finally found the love of my life 408 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,067 and I can't celebrate it in a big, big way. 409 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,112 You can do whatever you want. 410 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,739 No, I can't. It's... 411 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,408 It's inappropriate. 412 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:02,535 Excuse me? 413 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,246 Hi, would you take a picture of me and my girlfriends? 414 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,247 She's getting married. 415 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,624 -Sure. -Thank you. 416 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,547 You know, she got engaged last night. 417 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,881 Oh! That's great! 418 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,258 Congratulations! 419 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,718 No, no, it's my second-- 420 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,470 She's getting married to a wonderful man. 421 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,305 And look at this rock. 422 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,474 - Oh, wow! - It's gorgeous! 423 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,476 -It's beautiful! -Thank you. 424 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,978 You have to be in the picture! 425 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,104 No, that's okay. 426 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,355 Come on. 427 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,109 Give me the camera. 428 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,944 429 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,780 All right. Everyone say, "bride!" 430 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,031 Bride! 431 00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:42,700 432 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,370 So when are you getting married? 433 00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,289 -What's the dress like? -Where's the reception? 434 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,332 And finally, Charlotte's inner judge 435 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,294 was silenced by some very loud bachelorettes. 436 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,797 Sorry, I guess he's not here tonight. 437 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,259 Oh, well, you can't cry over spilt pot. 438 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,343 439 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,720 I could buy you a drink. 440 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,847 I said I was buying her a drink, dude. 441 00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,057 You have a girlfriend. 442 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,559 Gentlemen, please! 443 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,561 That's the secret of the skinny jeans. 444 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:14,064 It's not so much a state of behind as a state of mind. 445 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,941 446 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:18,778 Hey, what's up? I'm La La. 447 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,448 Now, you've seen him naked on a billboard right here in Times Square, 448 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,533 and now he's on TRL, wearing clothes, 449 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,910 damn, but it's still all good. 450 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,788 He is the absolute hottest, the absolute awesome, 451 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,206 the Absolut Hunk. 452 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,208 Give it up for Smith Jerrod. 453 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,167 Hey! 454 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,251 455 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,546 Man, we have a lot of fans in the house. 456 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,089 Let's get right to some questions. 457 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,592 Hi, I'm Amber. 458 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:42,968 Hey, what's up, Amber? 459 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,263 Nice, relaxed, sexy, yet modest. 460 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:50,392 One, what is it like to be the Absolut Hunk? 461 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:55,689 I have to say it's been a real trip, but I've met some really awesome people. 462 00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,191 You're hot enough to be on TV. 463 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,069 -Take that to the dart board. - And two, 464 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,946 do you have a girlfriend? 465 00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,282 -No, I'm still looking. 466 00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:07,284 Really, you're not dating anyone? 467 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:11,121 I am dating, but I'm not seeing anyone special. 468 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,206 469 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:15,876 And even though Samantha had designed it herself, 470 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,464 she realized "no one special" was another label she didn't care for. 471 00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,091 I changed my mind. 472 00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:24,844 Kiss me. 473 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:29,139 And to prove that Smith was no one special to her, 474 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,058 she kissed someone even less special. 475 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,563 Unfortunately, he was someone special to a somewhat drunk person. 476 00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,565 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 477 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:38,649 What happened? 478 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:39,608 She kissed Frankie! 479 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:42,653 Oh! Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? 480 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:43,863 Fucking city girls, 481 00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:45,656 you think you're such hot shit that you can go around 482 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,241 kissing other girls' boyfriends? 483 00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:48,868 I'm gonna kick your ass. 484 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,578 I'm gonna slap the shit outta you. 485 00:22:50,661 --> 00:22:52,788 -Ah! -Oh, my God! 486 00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,916 -Relax! -Oh, yeah? You fuckin' relax! 487 00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:58,210 488 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:02,506 If I ever fucking see you again, 489 00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:06,135 I'm gonna put my shoe so far up your ass you're gonna taste leather! 490 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,181 Okay, I get it. 491 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:13,517 Angry women can be scary. 492 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:16,770 Very few women can pull off anger in a tube top. 493 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:17,730 Ugh... 494 00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:21,275 This night is turning into a total bust. 495 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,527 Not total. 496 00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:24,528 497 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,281 Oh, my God, I love you! 498 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:28,824 Where did you get that? 499 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,829 Well, apparently, $20 will buy you three drinks... 500 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:34,955 Uh-huh. 501 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,957 A channel change, and a joint. 502 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,083 All right. 503 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,634 Fucking men. 504 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,344 Yeah. 505 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:54,099 -Men are bullshit. -Mmm... 506 00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,560 That's what I'm talking about. 507 00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,771 Being someone's girlfriend... 508 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,522 Mm-mmm. 509 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:04,485 No good can come of it. 510 00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:05,903 That's what I'm saying. 511 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:07,988 512 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,033 Wow. 513 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:15,496 -This is strong weed. Mmm... -Mmm. 514 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,164 515 00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,248 Oh. 516 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,336 It's Smith. 517 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,714 -Hello? -[Smith] Hi, did you see me? 518 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,216 Yes, we saw it. 519 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,135 - How did I do? -Perfect, just like we planned. 520 00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,221 -Can you hear me? 521 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:36,684 I'm not getting any reception here. Let me-- 522 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:38,852 - Hel-- -Are you there? 523 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:42,648 As I contemplated the fact that my relationship had gone to pot, 524 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,607 literally, 525 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,236 I realized no high or low, 526 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:50,197 would make this day any day other 527 00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:53,575 than "the day I got broken up with by a Post-it." 528 00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,036 - Police. 529 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,080 Stay right where you are. 530 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,001 That's the way it goes. 531 00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,378 -We have to take her downtown. - Officer, please. 532 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,005 I'm a lawyer and a mother. 533 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:09,550 This woman is my friend, and she's an extremely law-abiding citizen. 534 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,801 Who just broke the law. 535 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:16,140 Yes, but in her defense, she has had a very, very bad day. 536 00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:19,059 -Her boyfriend just broke up with her. -On a Post-it. 537 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,228 Come on. That didn't happen. 538 00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:28,193 "I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me." 539 00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,488 Wow. Brutal. 540 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:36,660 Tell you what, I'll write you up for smoking in a bar. 541 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:39,079 Oh, come on. Can't you just let her off? 542 00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:42,916 I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me. 543 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,210 544 00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:47,296 Oh, hear that? 545 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,714 It's midnight. 546 00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:52,926 The official end to what will now be known as 547 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:56,805 "the day I got arrested for smoking a doobie." 548 00:25:57,514 --> 00:26:01,060 I said doobie. This is gr... 549 00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:02,811 550 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,438 You didn't get arrested. 551 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,734 See? Your Post-it was your get-out-of-jail-free card, 552 00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,444 so if you never met Berger, then you-- 553 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,571 Stop, you're killing my buzz. 554 00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:16,116 I have to say, I'm starting to agree with Charlotte's way of thinking. 555 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,953 If I hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve, 556 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,622 I never would have had Brady... 557 00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,582 -Aw! -I'm not finished. 558 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,167 And had no time to eat, 559 00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,462 so I never would have fit into my skinny jeans 560 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,882 and realized this city is full of cute men! 561 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,884 Now that's my kind of thinking. 562 00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:37,513 Carrie, don't bogart the split. 563 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,307 Okay, I know what I learned from my Berger relationship. 564 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:50,776 Wait a minute, I just had it. 565 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:52,402 566 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,030 What? 567 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,115 You know what? 568 00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,158 I changed my mind. 569 00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,619 You don't think everything happens for a reason? 570 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,162 No, no, not about that, about the wedding. 571 00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:04,998 I really want you guys to be my bridesmaids. 572 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,920 You don't have to wear the matching dresses, I promise. 573 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,256 -All right. - I'll eat to that! 574 00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:13,966 -Can I get that in writing? 575 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:18,679 Oh. I think I've had enough. My jeans just popped. 576 00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:29,356 I might never find the lesson in why Berger and I split, 577 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:32,901 but at least, for the moment, there was a banana split. 578 00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:35,154 579 00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,705